Wednesday, December 19, 2012

DL Code Continued

I haven't blogged since August! What a shame. Blame it on work, getting back with the girlfriend, partying hard, a too colourful social life etc.

It has been a good run I must admit but the highlight of it all is getting back with Kimberly and finally moving back in with her at the loft. The studio was tiny for my big ego. I know you are all tired of hearing about this Kimberly. Who else can I talk about because she is the only one worth giving me sleepless nights.....

I was to do the continuation of the DL code and damn, it's been a whole 5 months. You must be tired of waiting. I should write often.

Ok, let's do this

DL Code (Cont'd)

  1. We guys on the downlow don't deal with emotions. Not male emotions. Girl emotions are way to much to handle. You can clearly see it from my previous posts about Kim. If you are lucky to be shagged by a dude on the DL, don't bother trying to find out why he didn't call the day after. He wasn't meant to call and he won't. Don't think he banged you because he liked you. He was horny and you were the only way out for him. If he needs another fix he will call. And he does it over and over again, don't think he loves you so don't pull those emotional stunts on him. Enjoy the sex while it lasts.
  2. Dudes on the DL love themselves and their partners ( i.e committed girlfriends and wives). This means that we exercise a lot of caution. Unprotected sex is a no-no. Don't expect your DL guy to bareback like it is a common thing among the out gay community. We love ourselves and will never do anything to put ourselves and loved ones at risk. So don't expect to get it raw from a DL dude. 
  3. We are smart, intelligent and have our lives on the right track. Look around and see. Most guys on the DL have serious and respectable careers and professions like law (that's me ;-) ), engineering, medicine, aviation, financial services, entrepreneurs et al. It is hard to come across a DL guy who doesn't have something serious going on in his life. I am not saying out gay people aren't serious people.... That is why we have most out people in fashion, interior design, media beauty etc. The reason is that most gay people are very colourful and creative. DL dudes are more analytical than creative. That's why it's hard to find effeminate men working as doctors, pilots etc .... These careers need people who have 'got it under control'. Not swinging their hands around the cockpit of Dreamliner or in a hospital theatre. I stand to be corrected on this one though :-) 

If you happen to bang a guy on the DL then you need to watch out for some of these things. This are just some of my observations. There could me out there. Feel free to share them.

Yours truly


Saturday, August 25, 2012

Down low code

Many of us are in this ship I call Mv Downlow. Aboard this vessel all you do with the very few like-minded guys is a private affair. It is like being on a cruise ship, on high seas away from the prying eyes on the main land. Any man on the down low knows what I am talking about. However there is an unwritten down low code that few have a clue about. Let me break it down for you.

First, this post is as a result of an encounter I had in the coastal city of Mombasa last week. We were down there for the Law Society of Kenya Annual Conference which was held in Diani. It is one those conferences that lawyers look forward to every year. It has been billed as a get away for senior and wealthy lawyers who take time off their busy schedules. Some fly their mistresses down to the coast for some little fun. If you have brushed shoulders with lawyers you must have noticed that we love living life to the fullest; eating it with a big spoon kind of thing. A story is told of a senior lawyer who got wasted during a past conference that he forgot his room number but could remember the room number where a female married colleague was lodging and he shamelessly stumbled all the way to her room. What went down in her room, I leave it for you to decide. So the Mombasa retreat provides the perfect play ground for those marauding lawyers who want to have some fun.

After the conference was over, I decided to cross over to the island to sample what the coastal city has to offer. Not that there is much to sample in Mombasa especially if you have been to most entertainment joints. Bella Vista was my destination. I like this joint for its VIP lounge on the ground floor and the eye candy that frequents the joint. Once in, I did the usual, found myself a nice spot and ordered scotch whiskey. As is usual, I scanned the lounge and noticed quite a number of good looking guys. Then I saw one of the young lawyers who was at the conference. I didn't pay much attention to him but kept on checking out cute guys. Thing is, I don't do this when I am with my girlfriend Kimberly, lest things go to the dogs. After enough 'feeding' on eye candy, I walked out to the washrooms. While walking out back to the lounge, I met this young lawyer and for a moment we locked eyes. Damn! I thought to myself. I ordered another shot of whiskey and noticed when he came back. Then the games started.... He's the kind of you want to bed even on the street. Any way.....things got interesting as the night progressed Do I have to break it down to you how it ended up?  

Anyway, back to the matter at hand, the DL code. Openly gay people are perplexed at how 'us' guys nail other guys and get laid. One thing about us is that we know how to play this game and we don't put ourselves out there. In fact, we don't exist. 

Part of the code is as follows;

  1. We do not seek attention! Guys on down low do not 'advertise' themselves. Catch me dead in skinny jeans or pink tees, or a ring on my thumb or index finger! Hell no. We dress well fitting clothes but NEVER tight clothes. Tight clothes are a NO-NO! 
  2. We communicate seamlessly. The moment a guy on the down low spots another, 'wireless' communication is initiated. We communicate using our eyes. It is not easy as it sounds but if you have done it you know what I am talking about. A guy on DL will not approach you and tease you like most gay guys do. We know and feel when there is something. Guys on the DL know that it will all end up in bed so they save themselves the agony of sweet talking and those sweet-nothings gays tell each other. Once I lock eyes with you and send a message, better be ready to play the game.
  3. We do not hang out with gays! Period! It is as simple as that! We avoid hanging out with gay people for obvious reasons. 99% of guys on the DL are either married or in committed heterosexual relationships or are very important people in society. We have no time to go sit at Art Caffe with a bunch of queers listening to them whine about their crushes or boyfriends, or what clothes and shoes to buy next! I do not know how I would explain to my girlfriend if she bumped into me at the mall with a bunch of queens.
That's just part of the code, in the next post, I will continue with the list.

Let me have your comments on the code. 

Yours truly,


Friday, July 6, 2012


Wow! The last time I did a post here was in September 2011! I can't be serious! Focus is needed here! Things have happened though, like a lot of water has drained into oceans from the rivers flowing through the plains from the mountains. A lot has happened! 

They say (I don't exactly who) that when a man goes quiet he is either going through some serious issues or has had been hit in the gonads! That is some painful shit, ask anyone who has been hit there or a cyclist who misses the pedal. If you ride you know what I mean.

Anyway, to cut the long story short, I decided to take a chill pill from life generally coz my girlfriend Kimberly and I were going through some shit sometime last year. Relationships are no joke, you know. A little misunderstanding led into a confrontation and later a fight, not the physical one but the bitter exchange of words kind of fight. I am one patient guy but when things get thick, I can emit some serious dragon flames. After the fight, I moved in with Dave, remember my work mate? He too was going through issues with the girlfriend and they broke up. Sad :-( 

I didn't stay for long at Dave's coz stuff happened between us and I noticed he started getting attached. Just to cool down and clear my mind I took up a six months residency in our South Africa office and returned mid June. Kimberly and I kept in touch and talked through our issues. I still kept the loft and paid for the rent I didn't move back in when I came but instead rented a small studio when I came back. We are working it out and soon I'll move in back with her, the studio is tiny!

So basically that is what has been happening and explains the hiatus from blogging. I am back though and promise more posts, more stuff on the DL!

Yours truly


Monday, September 5, 2011


We are in the month of September and I guess everyone is saying "Wake me up when September ends!" It is the other way for me! I will not wait for September to end. I have started getting down to serious business as we approach the end of the year and this weekend was just the perfect one to get me in to the end of year party mood. Do not be surprised how some of us start very early. Kim and I have already made our reservations for Christmas and New Year's at this exclusive resort in Wasini. I can assure you it is costing us an arm and leg but totally worth it! Anything for Kim and I is worth it! If you have not started making plans for the holidays then you had better get on to that!

Enough of our private holiday plans with Kim! The weekend that was saw us spend some time away from the hustle and bustle of the city. We decided to attend the Rift Valley Festival in Naivasha over the weekend. Deciding whether to go for that or Earth Dance Nairobi was not an easy task for me and Kim won! The whole idea was to spend quality time as we walk down the road to self-discovery and love. Naivasha was the  ideal location! We decided to stay at an exclusive and private farm on the Lake Naivasha as opposed to the very crowded camp sites dotting the shores of Lake Naivasha. It would have been very unfortunate to get a hotel where everyone from Nairobi was staying at. We did not was to have a feeling like Nairobi has been relocated to Lake Naivasha like what happens to the coastal city of Mombasa over Christmas! Kenyans need to find other holiday destinations. 

Our journey started on Friday afternoon when I went to pick up Kim's new car from the garage where it was being tuned. We had decided to have a thrill with her new car and the best road was the Nairobi-Nakuru highway. FYI she is a petrol-head more than I and a Subaru Forester would not have been a better car. Congratulations Kim on your new aqusition! I then picked her from work and passed by the loft to pick up our bags which were packed the previous night. 3 p.m found us cruising past Kimende. Oh boy, didn't fall in love with this car! I am jealous already! We got to Naivasha some minutes before 4 pm and headed straight to the farm where we had reserved a room. I have resisted mentioning the name of the farm to avoid it being discovered. Trust Kenyans to be spoilers for every good thing!

We spend the night at the room and headed to the Farm club house for dinner and drinks. We danced all night long with the white farm owners and their friends. Naivasha I realized has a very elite, private and exclusive community of whites who only hang out in exclusiveness. Show me Kenyans who have a Farm club house, complete with a chef, resident Dj, fully equipped bar and will hang out amongst themselves. I doubt there many.

On Saturday we checked out the festival and the line up was good. Check out the link above. Dj Adrian was my  favorite. He never disappoints. I guess I am old school like that. Show me a 28 or 32 year old who did not listen to Dj Adrian in their days. While at the performance in the evening, I received a call from Dave. You remember Dave from my office? I almost forgot to tell you a story I had promised to tell about Dave. That is for the next post. Dave and his girlfriend Diana have been having a rough time of late and two weeks ago she packed her bags and moved back home. Dave sounded low when I answered his call. I had tried to keep off work and other unnecessary interruptions but Dave's call could not go unanswered

"Hey. How are you?" he asked. 
"I'm well" I responded. 
"Could you come over to my place? I am lonely!" he said. 
"Sorry I can't. I am in Naivasha with Kimberly. I will pass by when I come back on Sunday evening". I told him.
"Cool, halla when you are back. Have fun" he signed off and hang up. 
I really felt bad for him. If I knew he would be that lonely, Kim and I would have taken him with us to Naivasha. 

Well to cut the long story short, Kim and I had lots of fun. We did connect in many ways, discovered endless opportunities. By the time we were leaving Naivasha, I was thinking its time I took it to the next lever with Kim. The rain which I am told is a sign of blessings in the African communities was probably an indication that our relationship was sanctioned. The rain was all over and when we got to Nairobi, I was too tired to pass by Dave's. I talked to him in the morning at the office but this was the work place, not much can be discussed. I will drop by his place with a bottle of wine tomorrow or Thursday.

Enjoy the month of September!

Yours truly


Wednesday, August 24, 2011


It has been over a month since I blogged and I just realized that it is in writing that I find solace. I have been busy in the past month and travelling a lot to attend to demanding clients. I do not mind that because thanks to them the bills get paid. I have also been dealing with people at work and also in my social circles and oh boy! People can be really a pain in the ass!

Have you ever used a dirty toilet and there are those flies that won't just go away no matter how much pesticide you spray? You mostly find these in downtown or those pit latrines up country. Most of the time you have no option but to go in, do your thing and get the hell out of the toilet as soon as is practically possible. 

This is my story with one of 'those flies of men' that won't just go away. A couple of weeks ago I was hanging out with Tom at our favorite bar. You all know Tom by now, my shag buddy. We were just there doing our thing, drowning some Jameson whiskey when two of his friends came by. We did exchange the usual pleasantries and a bit of chit chat. I am not friends to either of them but since I am an out going person, I engaged them before they decided to get their own table. 

In that brief exchange, I noticed one with whom I crossed eyes several times. I really can not say he was hot because I can show you a hot man when I see one. Anyway, I did not mind knowing him and maybe doing him. After thinking about it for a while, I decided to let is pass. Two weeks later, I got a text that read "Hey DA. This is Keith, we met at the bar two weeks ago. I am a friend of Tom. Do you want to have a drink sometime?" I ordinarily do not respond to such text messages but I replied "Sure, why not". Then a date was set.

We met a week later shared a couple of drinks and late into the night I could tell where this was headed. Luckily, my girlfriend Kim was having one of those sleep overs at her friends. They call it girls movie night where they watch movies at either of her friend's and drink wine all night. I was lucky last time it was her turn to host her friends at my loft I had traveled to Egypt. So while having drinks with Keith, he suggested that we 'check out' his apartment. I knew at that moment what was going to happen. At the apartment, it went down. I did him a couple of times after which I headed back home. 

That was the beginning of my problems with Keith. This guy literally became a pain in my ass. He started calling me everyday, then increased frequency to twice, thrice and even four times a day! He was getting on my nerves. I told him one time that what we had was just a ONS (One Night Stand) and that it would never happen again. He did not get it and now wanted more which I could not give. I am the kind of guy who does not believe in gay or man-to-man love or relationships. That is what he wanted and I told him that it was not going to happen. He still kept on calling and sending me text messages. He was becoming too much now! Thank goodness to Android phones, I got one of those applications that block unwanted calls and text messages. That app works perfectly and I have gotten rid of that nagging toilet fly that won't just go away called Keith! 

Yours truly, 


Friday, July 15, 2011


Last weekend, my girlfriend traveled out of the country to attend a seminar on a project they intend to undertake in Northern Kenya. I can see the shock on most of your faces. Yes, I have a girlfriend, who has a very good job with one of the Community Based Organizations here in Kenya. Kimberly and I have been going out for almost a year now and I really love her a lot and so does she. You see, the life of being on the down low allows you to live a 'normal' life; have a girlfriend or wife, have a good job, have good friends, drive a good car and basically enjoy the pleasures of life, yet on the other side, you get to have sex with fellow men, without raising an eyebrow.

So after dropping her off at the airport on Thursday night, ideas started coming my way. 'Should I get naughty this weekend?' I asked myself. It had been a while since I had sex, with a man and here I was, having a cool five days alone. One thing that was certain was that I was going to have a good time over the weekend. Having a girlfriend kind of keeps you tied down. She wants you go stay indoors watch movies, or go out for dinner, or tag you along to her friend's house for a random drink up. Basically when she is around, I don't have 'me' time. Instead its 'we' time. I really do not mind it at all.

If you have watched the Hangover 2 then you know about Stu's demon. At the end Stu was courageous enough to face his would be father-in-law and tell him off, thanks to the demon in him. Last weekend, I was feeling that I had a small demon in me that wanted to be unleashed! I really wanted to go crazy. I was very horny in short! After work in Friday evening, I accompanied my workmates to the lounge bar near our office for a couple of drinks but I was not feeling the drinking vybe. At 9 o'clock I excused myself to attend to an emergency. You know how you create these emergencies out of the blues and you have to ditch your friends at the bar? That is what I did. I called my shag buddy Tom and told him what I needed. My shag buddy is this masculine twenty four year old who is also on the DL. I am not that old so do not think I am a cradle snatcher. He is four years younger than me! I like him because he is all masculine, a rugby player who acts very straight! In fact he also has a  girlfriend but he does not keep them for long.

When we met up with Tom, we decided that my loft would be the perfect place. We headed straight to my bachelor pad and started drinking from there. I always keep alcohol in my house. One hour later, he was tipsy and I was getting drunk. I poured him more Jameson and he responded to it well. I love Jameson, probably the best Irish Whiskey I have ever come across. A few minuted later, we were on carpet making out heavily. We ripped off each others clothes and sucked each other! This is getting graphic, let me go easy! Back to the action! We did our thing and the demon in me came out that night. I did Tom five times that night, a feat I have never achieved with any man! The demon in me came out that night!

This week on Wednesday morning, I went to pick up Kim from the airport. As I was racing down Mombasa Road, I kept thinking about the events of last weekend. My demon was telling me stuff I was not liking at all. The demon was telling me to bring it out to Kim! There was no way I was going to do that! I love Kimberly a lot and there was no way I was going to tell her about my 'other' life. I would lose her! I could not tell her, but the demon in me wanted to come out once more, but in another form. I decided not to. I could not afford to lose her. I picked her and she dropped me at the office. She went home to rest and would pick me up after work. It felt good she was back. I knew I love her. I am thinking of taking her out tonight and maybe I can show her the demon in me, in another form! I know she will like it.

Yours truly


Friday, July 8, 2011


#thatawkwardmoment is hash tag I see a lot on twitter. I do not tweet a lot because of the nature of my work. Oh, I forgot to mention that I am on twitter too. You can follow me @DownlowAttorney. So I learn these social media terminologies slowly and sometimes way too late. However, #thatawkwardmoment is one thing that I go through every day at the office. At first it was traumatizing but with time I have gotten used to it. Let me tell you how it came to happen.

I work for a large law firm and we have quite a huge clientele, even outside the country. One of our clients are based in South Africa where we have partnered with other law firms and occasionally we travel to Johannesburg to attend to our clients. Sometime early this year, in March, to be precise, I traveled to South Africa with a fellow lawyer from our Chambers. Dave is my junior and I have mentored him since he joined the firm and still do. As a result therefore, we have ended up becoming close. We will occasionally hang out while back in the country and get to share a lot. With time, I started to develop some feelings and started seeing him in a different light. These were physical feelings and the more we spend time together, the more I wanted to dig him! He is the kind of guy who showed all those signs of curiosity and potential to go for a one night stand thing with another man! For a long time, I never acted on my feelings nor told him of what I had been thinking! You know guys on the down low, like me, never express themselves well, that is why we do not do well in relationships especially with fellow men! I knew an opportunity would present itself. So I let him get closer to me and feel comfortable around me.

Johannesburg, South Africa is where the opportunity presented itself. This was his first time he had traveled out of the country with a work mate on account of the law firm. We had a week to spend and for a strange reason I felt that this was it, like the Michael Jackson's This is It! After working hard everyday, we would end up in a club to grab a few drinks with our fellow lawyers from Jozi. They say sincerity and alcohol are good friends, which I knew! So I had to hatch plan if I was gonna dig Dave. We finished our assignment on Thursday and were due to fly back on Sunday. I decided that make use of the weekend to get to Dave. On Friday evening I asked Dave to accompany me as I sampled the Jozi nightlife. He gladly agreed since he was not going to do much at the hotel room. We took a taxi from the hotel room after drowning some vodka and headed to Manhattan Club, 19 Wessels Road. The clubs here are well done and beautiful than in Nairobi, which I won't deny that is catching up in the clubbing scene. We found a comfortable place to seat amidst a group of young hot guys and bevy of beauties. South Africans are hot, and I hope Kenyans can learn from them on how to be hot and fabulous! Both men and women here are awesome! Every time I touch down in South Africa, I normally get hard! Anyway, we ordered our drinks and party continued!

After a couple of hours of drinking, I decided to take advantage of the situation because the opportunity had presented itself! This was the perfect timing! We were both drunk but I think Dave was more drunk than I. We danced a lot and at some instances got close to each other. I could feel his body and his sexy cologne! Dave is the kind of guy who knows how groom. Well fitting clothes, perfect cologne to match the occassion and a sexy hair cut! He's perfect. The good thing about him is that he maintains all these. I decided to make my move when he was dancing with his back on me. I whispered in his hear that I was horny and that we needed to head back to the hotel. I told him this as I held him strongly on his side slightly above the waist and made sure that he felt my hard wood. I slightly pressed it on his behind! You don't want to know his reaction!

Next thing we were in a cab heading back to the hotel and kissing passionately! I was expecting to see the cab driver shocked but he was not! This was South Africa, the rainbow nation! The only country in Africa where same sex marriage is allowed under the country's Constitution. At the hotel lobby, we staggered slowly to the lift lest we raised suspicions as to our mischief! The staff at the hotel knew us and we did not want to mess around with our reputation and respect. At the suite, a soon as the door was closed behind us, things got steamy. Clothes were ripped off and you can guess what went down. I did Dave and I was amazed how he could do this. This was his first time with a man and his first time being done. They say it is the most painful thing especially on the first time. I would not no because I have never been done! Anyway, Dave impressed me! This was repeated again on Saturday evening and when we woke up on Sunday morning, we agreed that we should act like it never happened. We flew back to Nairobi on Sunday afternoon ever since then, whenever Dave and I meet in the office, or along the corridors or in the lift, there is always that awkward moment. He still looks up to me as a mentor and in fact we have grown tighter as friends. But that awkward moment is always there.
Next time I will tell you what Dave asked me to do for him!

Your truly,